Root Vegetables and STDs

I love my job.

I'm the wine director and an assistant manager at a five-star retreat and resort. I haven't personally paid for a bottle of wine in over six months because distributors are knocking down my door to get their products on my list.

The preceding paragraph is pretty much irrelevant to the rest of this story. I just had to gloat a little.

However, I do love my job.

I have one staff member who absolutely needs to pursue a career in stand-up comedy. He might need a coach, perhaps even a writer to fortify his routine, but his delivery and observations are pretty much priceless.

For instance, in tonight's pre-service shift line-up, as I was going over the night's menu with the staff, one of the dishes happened to be accompanied with crispy parsnips. I asked if anyone could describe a parsnip. A couple of the staff used descriptors such as "root vegetable," "similar to a carrot," "basically, a white carrot," etc.

This one staff member in particular, though, had a much more graphic, if not observant, view. (Strike that. Reverse it.)

"Don't parsnips look like carrots that contracted AIDS? They're all white and shriveled."

Wow.

This blog was brought to you by the 2007 Sonoma Cutrer Russian River Ranches Chardonnay.

Aaron